Spontaneity scares me.
And yet, life throws us in a loop.
We are not called to wait for answers to be brought to us, we are called to chase His light and bring it to others.
Some people just already have this one figured out.
Chasers of the Light, you are a step ahead of the rest of us. You already know that love should be a first response and life should be the direct consequence. To those of you who have a firm grasp of fearless and spontaneous pursuit of life, I could learn a thing or two from you.
Life is unpredictable, it is rarely an understandable concept. It is frustrating, oh my it is frustrating. But, to those of you as fearful of the chase, I think that it is time we stop hiding.
Let’s be that sunshine.
Ten years ago, one of the most incredible chasers of light left this earth. Hannah was one of those people who was just as beautiful inside and out. At five years old, she had a better grasp on what the meaning of life was than most adults I know. To Hannah, life was meant to be shared. Love was a cause and life was the effect. Her love radiated, it was something that I will forever keep with me. She did not limit her care to those she knew, it was freely given with nothing asked for in return. Hannah was strong, she radiated love and life and at five years old, going through chemotherapy and a 16 month long battle full of some not-so-good days, she had a better outlook on dark days than anyone.
One day, Hannah was at a blood drive asking people to donate blood for her. There was a man there, who had some very legitimate concerns about getting his blood drawn, just the thought of needles made him nervous. Hannah told him, “Oh it’s perfectly fine, I get ‘stuck’ all the time. Here, I’ll hold your hand.” So, she held the man’s hand as he donated blood for the first time.
To her, this was not abnormal. It was just what she did. She was the constant flow of sunshine and light in everyone who met her’s lives.
Hannah never stopped, even when she couldn’t dance because her legs were too weak after surgery, she would sit at the dance studio in front of her class, fully dressed to practice and tapping her feet along to the dances she was learning.
When Hannah passed, it was almost like a small light went out in the world around me. She was everything and she was wonderful. Hannah taught me how to love, despite pain and uncertainty of what tomorrow looked like. She showed me the power that words could have on a person. Ten years without her and still – she is probably the best role model I could possibly ask for.
During her celebration of life, it was decided that sunsets containing pink (oh my word, she loved pink) were Hannah’s way of telling all of us it would be okay.
So here’s to Hannah; for teaching us to love words and to love others, for banana bread and pink sunsets, and most of all – for never thinking before loving wholeheartedly. Han, I love and miss you more than I could even start to tell you. Thank you for teaching us to run towards the light, and that if there was none, to become that light.