Hi, for those of you who do not know me, my name is Elle and I have a fear of change. Not just the kind of thing where I get a tad anxious about change, but the kind where the thought of something changing makes me feel like curling up in bed and not moving. Change is one of those annoying little parts of life that you just cannot seem to get rid of. It is like a fly, buzzing in your ear and taunting you with the uncertainty of where it is going to go next (I’m not the biggest fan of flies either, if you didn’t guess that already).
Anyways, change is the worst. And lately it has felt like every single stable-ish thing in my life decided, “Hey, Elle has had enough stability for a while, let’s shake it up!” and POOF, went away.
I have had a lot of trouble coping with all of this change stuff lately, but it all kind of clicked.
Nothing is going to be stable – no person, no goal, no place – nothing. But we would learn absolutely nothing if things in our lives were as stable as we so often convince ourselves that they are. My bible study read a passage from Crazy Love by Francis Chan and it said,
” Maybe life’s pretty good for you right now. God has given you this good stuff so that you can show the world a person who enjoys blessings, but who is still totally obsessed with God. Or maybe life is tough right now, and everything feels like a struggle. God has allowed hard things in your life so you can show the world that your God is great and that knowing Him brings peace and joy, even when life is hard.”
Isn’t that what we should be like? Don’t we want to be able to have someone look at us and say, “Woah, s/he is completely in love with the Lord!”?
I know that I do.
I have had a really hard time dealing with all this “change” nonsense. I mean, why would God let something so hard into my life when he just as easily could prevent it? And all these great people are in my life telling me how much stronger change makes people.
My sweet and amazing friend, Bailey told me this a little while ago and I do not think two days have gone by without me reading it.
You are so valued and you are so enough, all things I’m sure you know but it doesn’t hurt to hear again. This is definitely going to be something you remember as a trial that caused you to rely greatly on the faith that Jesus is going to take care of you, even if you feel alone now, even if you feel broken down in any way, He’s got you gripped so tightly and He knows what He’s doing. These are the kinds of things that are shaping you into the woman you’re supposed to be!
Friends, life is full of trials and hardships and (UGH) change. And in those trials it is so easy to feel alone, to feel like you are floating with no place to go. But you have this AMAZING Lord who is up there and he knows what is coming next. No matter what happens next, whether it is good or bad, God is there.
Maybe you are like me and you are 14 and don’t understand why it feels as if there is a constant stream of bad things flowing at you. Or maybe you are 45 with everything going perfectly and suddenly everything starts crashing down, either way, God will be there to bring you through it. There is nothing that can separate us from His love.
Because when we are not faithful, He is.
When we are not strong, He is.
When we are all over the place, He is constant.
When we feel like nothing, He is everything.
And He still calls us His.
(2 Timothy 2:13)
And knowing that I am His brings me more joy, more stability, than I could ever get from anyone or anything else. Through all this change, I am learning that He truly is the only one I need. Today my friends told me that I have seemed happier then they have seen me in a long time. What? Me, consumed by worry and frequently overwhelmed, seems happier during a time of incredible trial? Did I hear that right? And that is one of the best compliments I could have received. Because I feel so lost, but I know that the Lord is next to me, whispering, “it’s all going to be okay” through other people’s actions and nights by the bonfire playing a “Zen” playlist as loud as it can go.
And as long as I have Him, I truly believe every little thing is going to be okay. Because He can move mountains and rise from the grave and His love is greater than anything else we will ever imagine.